Thank you, A. Christine, for this beautiful open comment!
Well, I have to say first that, having read your stories, I’ve got a sense of what you passed through with such an abuse. Although, I can’t really imagine as you feel, still, I understand your fear and I am very very sorry for you. On the other hand, I admire your decision to leave and your courage in radically starting anew your life. You were and are very brave! You must realize that you are a so strong of a woman because you resisted with your spirit and did not subjected to your abuser. In fact, you organized with success yours and your mother’s escape.
Of course, just one year later, you feel scared in some situations and, probably, it won’t totally go away even if long time will pass by. I hope you can take advantage of a psychological support to help you overcome these early times.
Writing your beautiful and touching poetry is certainly a great way of healing your soul, but professionals would help you and your mom greatly. However, I think that, probably, you have already taken advantage of their support.
Moreover, I say that you have another wonderful source of spiritually healing support: your horses!
I take you seriously and I don’t see it funny because, my dear friend, I have too 4 horses! I understand exactly what you mean because I took care personally of their living quarters for years!😊
My 4 gentle kids, my 2 ponies Erminia and Mr. X, and my rescued from races English thoroughbred Mr. Valentin, aka Valentino, and my super sweet dame Rebeca, a Portuguese mix Lusitan thoroughbred.
I miss them a lot, now, because moving to town for my children, I had to move them to a horse center of a great friend of mine, which keeps them free on a paradise paddock, as Jaime Jackson’s indicates (he’s the Barefoot method creator), so they are happy. Plus, both of us, my friend Michal (from Czech Republic) and I, both learned Monty Robert’s natural horsemanship method. MR also indicates how horses can heal abused people and, maybe, you can look into it further.
Therefore, as you see, I know exactly what you mean and, actually, I wrote also a narrative story about it… I need to find where it is in the computer (I am not so well organized) and I can post it, so that you can read it, if you like!😊
If you found what works for you, it’s a super thing and you must keep it. Take advantage and inspiration from your horses because you and you friends created a symbiotic relationship based on your reciprocal empathy… it looks absolutely wonderful! I am very happy for you for this situation.
Still, I think that you need to escape from this psychological fear as much as you escaped from your abuser. It is important. If I may provide you with a suggestion, I would say that you could try to walk in circles: starting from the perimeter of your property, enlarging little by little the area, maybe with your mother, so you support each other and she can too take advantage of healthy strolls.
I am sorry to be so far away because I would love to be there to help you with this. I can only send you my written words.
Keep doing what you are doing because as we say in Italian, Stai andando forte! (You are going strong!)
(sorry for mistakes, I just wrote it by heart with not a deep review!)
